The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
