I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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