I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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