dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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