But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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