I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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