The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
