Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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