You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
