Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
