What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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