Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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