your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
where are my eyebrows?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
