you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
