Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
