Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this just has baby written all over it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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