Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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