I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Someone signed my nipple.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
