So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
