I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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