so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
