Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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