I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
PANTIES FOUND
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
