i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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