He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
