put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
