And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
