Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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