I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
smell my finger.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
