Apparently you make a good broom.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
