all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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