i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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