please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
