It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
