i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
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this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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