I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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