Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
