There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
