Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
