No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
