**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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