You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize