I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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