Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
