Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Buhtt sex?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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