what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
