Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
