May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
As shirtless as possible
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
