i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
