Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
