shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just pee around me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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