Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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