Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
