is your mom at the bar?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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