Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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