Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
