They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
