My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
