i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want nice things and good sex
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
