ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
