that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
