Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
