I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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