im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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