You can't motorboat a personality
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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