I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
