So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
