tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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