so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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