the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize