i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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