she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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