yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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