you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hippo gnu deer
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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