Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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