I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
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We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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